Confessions of a Happy Model
April 17, 2018
By Ganzhi, the United States
In the following several months, I spent most of my time listening to God’s words at home, feeling extremely liberated, and my state of mind was renewed. During that period, I thought a lot: My wrong outlook on life not only made me directionless, but it also harmed the relationship between me and my families. I used to talk about everything with my parents and siblings, but later on there was an estrangement between us. When my brother was studying at university, he couldn’t stand the pressure to study and so wanted to drop out. Regardless of his feeling, I told him one time after another, “No good job without good educational background; without a good job, you can’t make good money, let alone get married in the future.” In frustration, he said to me, “Sister, I don’t like my major. I’m not you. So, don’t force your preferences on me. As long as I can live happily even without money, it will be fine.” That was the first time we quarreled. At last, he quitted school. I couldn’t understand him, and he no longer spoke his heart to me. When my mother read God’s words to me, I didn’t want to listen; gradually, we spoke heart to heart with each other less and less. When my father and sister phoned me to show concern for me, I couldn’t feel their concern for me, but always responded with frostiness, only bent on my work. Thinking of this, I felt I had missed so many good days that I should have spent with my families. If only I could go back to the past! I wanted to attend meetings with my mother and especially longed to stay with brothers and sisters. So I dialed my mother’s phone number and told her why and how much I wanted to return before God. She was very excited at my words, and sighed with relief, “I have tried to persuade you for so many years but was in vain. This is really that God is doing His own work, creating this environment to put you out of your misery. It’s true that what is impossible for man is absolutely possible for God. Thanks be to God!” From this moment, the knot between me and my mother was undone. Following that, communicating our knowledge of God’s words became our common topic. Then I asked my mother to help me contact the church near my work. Nevertheless, the Chinese government persecuted the Christians so severely that the environment in all places were extremely adverse. Thus, it was difficult for me to get in touch with the local church.