38. The Secret Held Deep Within My Heart
Wuzhi Linyi City, Shandong Province
In the spring of 2006, I was stripped of my position as leader and sent back to where I had come from because I was considered too much of a “yes-man.” When I first got back, I plunged into a crucible of torment and agony. I never thought that after years of leadership things would go downhill on account of being a “yes-man.” This was the end for me, I thought, everyone familiar with me would know of my failure and I would be held up as a bad example in the church. How could I face others after all this? The more I thought, the more negative I became, until I finally lost the faith to continue seeking the truth. However, when I thought of all the sacrifices and expenditures I had made in these past few years, I couldn’t bring myself to quit. If I completely write myself off and accept failure, won’t all my efforts be for naught? Won’t people then think even less of me? I can’t let that happen! I’ve got to stand up for myself and not let others look down their noses at me. Now, no matter how hard I must try, how many wrongs I suffer, I’ve got to buck up—I can’t quit halfway! As long as I remember the lessons of failure and focus on seeking the truth, maybe one day I can become a leader again. With these thoughts in mind, all the negativity and sadness faded and I felt a renewed energy in my pursuit.
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