God's love | Favoritism No Longer Cause Family Problems

Favoritism No Longer Cause Family Problems

April 22, 2018

By Liu Li, Spain

    I was born into a wealthy family. I’m the only daughter in my family, so my parents doted on me and favored me especially, indulging my every whim. From a young age, I didn’t suffer any wrong and no matter what I did, I couldn’t take any loss, but only cared for my own interests and never considered others. As a result, I became very selfish.

    After being married, I came to a big family, living together with my parents-in-law and my brother-in-law. At the beginning, my parents-in-law treated me very well and also took good care of me. But slowly, I found they took better care of my brother-in-law because they always let my husband do the housework all alone. I felt they were biased, so I always was in the pouts. My parents-in-law saw my expression and said to me that my brother-in-law couldn’t have bent his back since his illness left sequel on him in childhood, so they gave him more attention at ordinary times.

    Later, a neighbor told me that my brother-in-law had done business several times but lost all the money, and that his debts were all paid by my parents-in-law. After I heard these words, my heart was quite unsettled. I thought: My parents-in-law only think of my husband when they have work to do, but when giving their children money, they only think of my brother-in-law but never thought of my husband. At the same time, I came to hate my brother-in-law: As an adult, he still asks my parents-in-law to pay his debts after losing money on his businesses. Afterward, when seeing his grinning face, I would become angry, feeling that he was very cunning and just wheedled money out of my parents-in-law. So, once seeing him, I would wear a long face and not show him my kindness.

    One day, as I was in the kitchen, I overheard my father-in-law in the next room say, “It’s hard to do business now. What if you lose money once again? …” Hearing my father-in-law’s words, I guessed my brother-in-law must be again asking my parents-in-law for money to do business. I felt very indignant, thinking: He asks my parents-in-law for money again. It will be a large amount of money to be spent on doing business. If he can make money, it will be fine. But if he still loses all the money, it will get my family into trouble. I don’t want to suffer any loss again. The more I thought, the angrier I became. Then I complained to my husband about his brother’s wrong and wanted my husband to offer to divide out the possessions in the family. I hadn’t expected that my husband not only didn’t defend me but also said I was unreasonable. Seeing his attitude toward me, I was boiling with rage and quarreled with him, “Am I considering the benefit of our son and our family? Now you actually think I am wholly to blame. Since you stand on their side, go to live with them.” I was so angry that I wanted to divorce my husband, and then I picked up my child and left home. After my parents-in-law learned this thing, they came to my parents’ family and gave me some money. In addition, not until they offered to give my son pocket money of 800 yuan every month did I move back home.

    However, good times didn’t last long. My brother-in-law’s business failed badly once again and lost over 100 thousand yuan. I was full of anger and hatred toward him. I thought: When will he not lose money? Will he lose money again in the future? The family’s money should be divided equally between us. If he goes on like that, will my portion be ruined by him? Why am I so unlucky to have such a brother-in-law? Because my anger had no place to release, I vented it on my husband. I complained that he was useless and couldn’t wheedle money out of his parents, and that his brother would run out of the money. For this, I often had a fight with my husband for a trifle. Over time, there was no common language between my husband and me. I began to feel bored with this family and this life, and started pointing fingers at my brother-in-law. I believed all these series of discords, including my pain and troubles, were caused by him. If he hadn’t existed in this family, I would have lived better. … The more I thought, the sadder I felt, and I even was quarreling with him and arguing with my parents-in-law in my dream when I fell asleep at night. Every time I was so angry that I woke up with cry. Under this environment, I felt depressed and even couldn’t smile. Gradually, I started to lose sleep and my face broke out in freckles. Compared with my peers, I looked much older. In normal times, I only stayed at home and didn’t dare to go out. I felt so tired and so bitter …



    Just when I was in distress and helplessness, God’s gospel came upon me. One day, I read God’s words saying, “Cruel, brutal mankind! The conniving and intrigue, the jostling with each other, the scramble for reputation and fortune, the mutual slaughter—when will it ever end? God has spoken hundreds of thousands of words, yet no one has come to their senses. They act for the sake of their families, and sons and daughters, for their careers, prospects, status, vanity, and money, for the sake of clothes, for food and the flesh…. How many do not act for the sake of their own interests?” The words in Sermon and Fellowship on Entry Into Life say: “Nowadays, all people’s interpersonal relationships are not normal. It is mainly because man has been deeply corrupted by Satan and their character is extremely low. They all put profit first, only want to take advantage of others, and have their personal intentions in everything. All human beings are living for themselves and the flesh. They have no concern and care for others and even don’t have the affection and love that they ought to have. They scheme and guard against each other, fight openly and secretly, and can’t get along with each other. The conscience and reason that they should have are gone. They cannot be of one heart and mind. If they don’t have any patience, they are all bitter enemies. They are filled with evilness and conflict in their hearts, implacably opposing each other, almost without any human likeness. They are completely occupied by Satan and their hearts are full of satanic philosophies.”

    Figuring out God’s words and the sermons, I understood: Because I hold these satanic philosophies as my rules of living, such as “Everyone for himself and the devil take the hindmost,” “Only taking advantage but never losing out,” and so on, I become selfish and despicable, only considering my interests on everything and never caring for others. Thinking back, when I saw that my parents-in-law asked my husband instead of my brother-in-law to do the household chores, I thought they were partial. Especially when seeing my brother-in-law lost money on business and my parents-in-law paid the debts for him, I felt even more unfair and my eyes fixed on him, fearing that he wasted the money of our family again. For the sake of protecting my interests, I didn’t care for the affection of family and even wished he hadn’t existed. I still often complained against my husband and had a fight with him, which led to our family discord. Driven by the interests, I no longer had my conscience, becoming selfish, indifferent and vicious, and living in depression and pain. I’d like to put down my intentions and desires and live a happy life but I was firmly controlled as if I had been shackled. Until now, I just understood that all of these were caused by my satanic corrupt disposition. It was the root cause that made me live in torment.

    Later, I also read this passage of God’s words: “In the dispositions of normal people there is no crookedness or deceitfulness, people have a normal relationship with each other, they do not stand alone, and their lives are neither mediocre nor decadent. So, too, is God exalted among all, His words permeate among man, people live in peace with one another and under the care and protection of God, the earth is filled with harmony, without the interference of Satan, and the glory of God holds the utmost importance among man.” And the words in Sermon and Fellowship on Entry Into Life also say, “There should be several principles of practice in coexisting normally with others. We can’t only be content with not taking advantage of or harming others. We should also have love and even more the conscience and sense, being able to accept and help each other and care for others. In everything, we should benefit and consider others rather than only ourselves. We should also be considerate of others’ weakness and forgive others’ transgressions. Only if we have these principles, can we build a normal relationship with others and attain getting along harmoniously with them.”

     After reading God’s words and this passage of sermons, I understood: Getting along with others is not merely taking no advantage of others; the most important is practicing according to God’s words, and dealing with the interpersonal relationships in accordance with God’s requirements. We should have tolerance and patience with others, enable others to obtain benefits, and also can consider others’ difficulties. At this moment, I thought my brother-in-law had been in poor health from childhood and suffered from the sequelae of lumbar spine disease, so it was normal that my parents-in-law gave him more attention. But I always thought they were partial to him and thus gave them a nasty look, making them fall into a dilemma. I also thought that the reason why my husband didn’t stand on my side was that he cared for their brotherhood. Whereas, I didn’t consider my husband’s feelings, and often forced him to do something that he didn’t want to do by hard or soft means, which led to our constant quarrel and made our family not harmonious. It turned out that these all were my problems. When I saw the things from others’ viewpoints, I no longer felt my parents-in-law were partial and that my husband was useless. Instead, I felt I was selfish and base, without conscience and sense. I determined not to live by my selfish and despicable satanic disposition anymore but to practice living out a real human likeness in accordance with God’s demand.

    One day, on entering house, I heard my parents-in-law and my brother-in-law were talking about doing business, and then I felt unhappy again. I realized that it was my corrupt disposition troubling me within. I quickly prayed to God in silence, asking Him to keep my heart. Then I thought of God’s words and the sermons, and also thought about the pain of living by the satanic corrupt disposition, so I determined that I couldn’t live like that. I should live out the normal humanity according to God’s requirements. As a result, I walked over and sat chatting with them. During the talk, I knew that my brother-in-law found out the reason for his failure and recouped some economic losses. Hearing this, I felt very ashamed. I also knew that when my brother-in-law’s lumbago flared up, he would suffer a lot of pain. Therefore, I began to care about his condition and seek connections or look for acquaintances everywhere to cure his sickness.

    Hereafter, I frequently read God’s words and fellowship about the truth with brothers and sisters, and no longer care about whether my brother-in-law takes money from my parents-in-law. I’m very happy every day and the smile often hangs on my face. Unknowingly, the freckles on my face also disappeared and I sleep soundly every night. My mother-in-law and brother-in-law both praise me in front of others: “The person who believes in God is really different from others!” I know that the changes I have attained today are the result of God’s words. It is God’s words that solve my pain and allow me to live out some normal humanity. Thank God! All the glory be to God!

 Source The Internet

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